The fight for true equality begins inside our own heads. Each of us.
Yes, this means commitment to a belief in the equal value of every individual, regardless of gender, racial characteristics, religion, sexual orientation or anything else. We must learn to genuinely respect the importance of every human being.
But at the Humanity Project, we know this kind of social conscience doesn’t come easily to most folks. And with good reason — because most of us doubt our own value far too often. We can’t fully believe in the equal value of everyone unless we believe in our own equal value. We require feelings of self-worth. As long as the gay person, the black or brown person, the Jewish or Muslim person, the woman doubt themselves, they will at some level doubt others too. The same goes for any of us, whether we are in a minority or not. Once we allow the world to make us question our worth, we soon will question the worth of at least some of our fellow humans. One necessarily follows the other.
But this same principle also works in reverse. We can uncover more feelings of self-worth by shifting our focus in a specific way as we go about everyday living: We try to think less often about how others feel about us, more often about how others feel about themselves. Instead of worrying, “Does that guy like me?” we ask, “What can I do to help that guy like himself?” We’re not talking about idle compliments or lavish praise here. Many times just some careful listening, sincere eye contact, a smile can help people feel better about themselves. This shift in conscious attention forces us to accept the importance of self-worth within each person and to recognize that nearly every individual struggles to acquire those feelings. And this helps us as it helps others — the value is shared. “Shared value,” we simply call it. Because in the end, we can’t escape the realization that if everyone really does possess an equal intrinsic value, we must possess that same value. By entering through the back door, we inevitably bump into feelings of our own worth as a human being.
The shared value system works if we’ll only exert a little focused mental effort — give it a try sometime. This simple but profound shift changes our perspective on the world. Every person we meet seems more vulnerable, more in need of our kindness and respect and validation. Our altered attitude establishes a firm foundation that allows the mind to discover a greater respect for the goodness and inherent value of humanity. Including the goodness and inherent value of ourselves, each of us. The value of your own existence.
